RESET

Well, guess what today is? It is the day I reset that old, unappreciated, untrue total weight loss number from the header of my blog and knock it back to zero. I've got to restart the countdown.

August 1 is as good a day as any to do that. I went to the doctor today and everything is up. My weight is up, my blood pressure it up, my frustration level is up. So I need to do something about it. Before my time is up! (Shit, that was harsh)!

So, goodbye to the 21.2 lbs that I lost. I'm starting fresh. I don't know how often or even where I will weigh myself, but I'll figure something out. And the number of total lbs lost will start rising again.

I was reading a friend's blog today that quoted someone as saying it is a blessing to be able to prove to yourself how strong you are. Is it that simple? Am I strong enough to do this or not? If so, prove it.

100th Post (or, All or Nothing)

Yes, this is my 100th post since I started Something to Lose nearly a year ago. And on this momentus occasion, I'm returning to a theme I discussed in my entry from a couple of weeks ago -- the all-or-nothing approach I have toward many things in life, but most particularly diet and exercise and health.

I've struggled with that attitude over the past week. As I mentioned previously, I went with the "all" approach and scheduled every single meal I was going to have over the past week. I placed three separate orders (with Diet Gourmet, Dishalicious, and Greenling) & planned a trip to the grocery store so every meal last week would be ready and waiting with a minimun of effort on my part.

As usual, life got in the way. My Greenling delivery on Friday was missing some of the items I had ordered (nothing untoward going on; they simply didn't have some of the items and credited my account). I had planned my grocery store trip for Monday, but ended up having some kind of stomach bug and stayed in bed almost all day. Then because of Memorial Day, my Diet Gourmet ordered was delivered Tuesday afternoon instead of Monday afternoon.

So ... my beautiful schedule was thrown all out of whack. Some meals I didn't have at all, other meals were missing certain parts, some meals were a day or two later than I had scheduled.

I tried my best to adapt and not go with the "nothing" approach of "Screw this, I'm ordering a pizza!" I would put my success rate at about 75%. I still ate most meals in a complete & healthy way with the food I did have. On two occasions I just skipped a meal (not the best thing to do I know) & and on two occasions I did eat something unhealthy instead. So that's 4 out of 21, which is actually about an 81% success rate. I'm moderately happy with that.

The same issues are already popping up for this week as Dishalicious has decided to take the week off from delivery, but again, I'm going to try to adapt. I do need to learn how to do that!

So there you have it -- I'll report more on how this is working as the weeks progress. I do think Dishalicious is going to be a help to me because it is pretty good food that is well-balanced & healthy, but not really diet food. That makes it much easier for me.

About that time again ...

I don't know if I'd use the term goofing off, but I do think I have been pointedly unfocused (non-focused) on healthy eating for the past many months. I've made small strides I guess as I do regularly receive organic food from my delivery service and I eat slightly more fruits/vegetables than I did six months or a year ago.

However, I have not at all concentrated on healthy eating. I've had more than my share of crap so far in 2008. It is about time to start up again with deliberately trying to eat healthy.

What should I try? WW worked for awhile, but then I quit. Diet Gourmet worked for awhile, but then I quit. Eating healthy on my own and exercising every day worked for awhile, but then I quit. Hmmm ... I am sensing a pattern.

I am wondering if maybe my all-or-nothing approach is part of the problem. When I tried Diet Gourmet, I had to order every single meal from them, even though I hated a lot of it. When I tried eating on my own, I had to prepare every single meal myself, which was a huge burden and got very old very quickly. When I exercised every day, I had to exercise every single day (sometimes twice a day as my friend Allison can attest to), which really wore me down. When I was on WW, I didn't eat a single sweet, not one single Life Saver or jelly bean or drop of anything.

I've mentioned before that I have some OCD-like tendencies (some people believe me; others don't), but I really think that's what is behind my all-or-nothing attitude. Maybe I can give that a rest. It is a struggle to do, but it would be helpful.

So I'm thinking about combining solutions. There's nothing that says I can't order my breakfasts from Diet Gourmet (the one meal I really enjoyed from them), then order some dinners from this new delivery place my friend D told me about, then prepare some of my own lunches and dinners. There's nothing that says I can't exercise every other day. There's nothing that says I can't eat a piece of candy now and again and include that in my WW points. That's actually the point of points -- to be able to have something you really want as long as you account for it.

There's nothing to say I can't do any of that, right? Right? The only thing that says I can't is my own attitude, which I can overcome.

So maybe I'll give this a try -- this hodge-podge of healthy eating.

Wish me luck (for the zillionth time).