A Long Time ...

I got Lizzie within a month of moving to Austin 13+ years ago. And during that entire time, we were probably apart only 2 or 3 weeks because I mostly took her with me everywhere I went.

That is a long time ...

She's only been gone a day, but the hardest and most surreal part of this whole ordeal is the fact that my body and brain haven't caught up to reality yet. I have heard her paws tapping across the kitchen floor as she comes into the den or computer room to check on me dozens of times in the past 24 hours. I look for her sitting in one of "her places" every time I enter a room. When I get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom, I think "Oh, I need to let Liz out for a few minutes." I went to put a garbage bag up on the counter-top last night only to remember I could actually leave it on the floor for the first time in over a decade because Lizzie wouldn't be around to dig through it.

After hours of struggling against myself, I finally surrendered last night before going to bed and allowed myself to call out as I have done thousands of times, "Liz, you wanna go outside." I knew she wouldn't come running this time, but I just needed to expel that from my body.

I guess one day in a couple of weeks or a month, my body and mind won't instinctively expect to see or hear her. The truth will finally sink in. And I don't know if that will be a good day or a bad day.