Maybe the Good Ol' Days Weren't So Good

I've been without a dryer for a couple of weeks now, and although I plan to get a new one eventually, in the meantime, I need a way to dry my clothes.

So, with much excitement, I decide to build a clothesline in my back yard and dry my clothes out in the fresh air. It was kind of an homage to my grandmother, plus I could just imagine the fresh air smell that would envelop my laundry. I was so pleased that I even took a picture of my towels hanging on the line.

They dried in a snap and as I took them off the line I noticed they kept the exact same shape as they had when hanging. They were a bit stiff, but I figured after they sat in my linen closet for a day or two, they would relax.

Well, I used one this morning & I thought I was going to have to call in sick to work (or just drive straight the ER) as it felt as if my skin was being ripped off the flesh. Holy hell in the morning!!

So much for my "natural living" experiment. Damn ...

This Post is About Weight? No, I Don't Believe It!

Kinda, sorta about weight ...

Just to show I am still moving (albeit at a snail's pace) on my weight/health/food issues, I finally decided to invest in my own set of scales. Some of you may know, but good scales that will weigh someone of my size are not cheap, so I'm making an investment in my health.

They arrived this week & look pretty cool. They report weight, body fat, water retention & all these other things. I'm not ready to step on them quite yet, but soon. Within the next couple of weeks, I plan to resume weekly weigh-ins & will report the results here.

I Ain't Mad At Cha

So, just to finish off the canine chaos saga: I declared myself the winner of this war too soon. I mean, I had a chainsaw. How could the dogs compete with that? Human invention had to carry the day. Right?

Wrong ... satan's sidekicks contined to escape the backyard all week long.

I came home from work Tuesday to find Louis alone in the back. No Ella in sight. Luckily, I got a call after just a few minutes reporting that Ella was three streets over playing with some neighborhood kids. I lugged her back home.

After careful consideration, I decided to continue leaving them in the backyard. I thought Ella's escape was a fluke. The meter reader or someone must have let Ella out because I saw no way that the dogs could escape on their own & if there was a way, Louis would have gone too. Mistake ...

On Thursday I came home at lunch to check on them & both dogs were gone. I ended up having to take a half-day vacation because I spent more than four hours looking for them. Finally, another kind neighbor called to let me know she found them. This was after 4 pm & the dogs had first been spotted out by another neighbor at 10 am. So they had a nice 6-hour day roaming the streets.

Remember the definition of insanity -- doing the same thing over & over, but expecting different results? Well, I am insane. I left them in the yard again on Friday. BECAUSE I had found where they were getting out (this time, digging under) and filled it with cinder blocks. Again, I thought human ingenuity would come out on top, but ...

Within 45 minutes of getting to work Friday, yep, I got another call. "Your cute little dogs are over in my yard. Do you want to come get them?" "No," I said, "just keep 'em. Do whatever you want with 'em. I'm done."

Ok, well, it didn't go exactly like that. I said, "Yes, thank you so much for calling. I'll be over in 5 minutes."

And now, the dogs are confined to crates when I leave the house. Sad, but true. I have no other option. The huge, fenced-in backyard goes to waste all day long as they sit inside a small crate staring out the sides. I guess that's just life sometimes.

And although it has been a looooong, stressful, frustrating week, when you walk in the room and see what I saw last night, you cannot be angry at them or hold a grudge.

Game On, Bitches!

You want to start a war with me?

You'll get a war! How do you like your little escape ledge now?

White Trash City

Take me down to White Trash City

Where the dogs run wild

And the view is shitty

Oh won't you please burn it down

Here's pictorial proof of how I live these days (inside & out) ...






You really should click on the pictures to get the full impact of the hideousness. In this case, we have chicken wire stretched between two garden posts, fortified at the bottom by cinder blocks, supported at the top by plywood, covered by a tarp, and with every scrap of shit from my yard thrown in the front of it. And the little furry punks still get through.






And just in case you can't idenitify everything here, the top picture has a ripped up book (a new book I just got for Christmas), a Hole CD that has actual teeth marks in it now, aqua beads from a coaster, paper & various trash, and even a small piece of red envelop that was meant to be an RSVP (Sorry, D!).


The bottom picture includes packing peanuts, part of a leather CD case, stuffing from a desecrated toy, parts of another ripped up book (Edward Gorey, one of my faves), and various other stuff.

Pushed to the Brink

Louis & Ella are getting on MY LAST NERVE. Bigtime.

They are buck-ass wild & cannot be tamed.

When I leave them out, Louis escapes the fence by jumping over.

When I leave them in, both dogs destroy anything they can get their teeth on.

In the past week, I've lost three books, a leather CD case, about half a dozen CDs, notebooks, notepads, a beaded coaster, a dog bowl (shattered), and a cereal bowl (cracked in half).

I came home one day to find Louis walking around on top of my kitchen counter. Like a cat or something. Except he is a 32-lb dog. Just strolling along the counter looking for whatever he might to want to eat or to knock off.

I've been called by neighbors twice telling me to please come pick up my dog at their house.

I spent all last weekend building up the most ridiculous white trash-looking piece of crap fence slash barrier trying to keep Louis from the part of the yard where he can jump. Hasn't worked. They just got through this morning and were over there just waiting for the perfect time to jump over. Luckily, I caught them.

I came home two weeks ago to find Ella without her collar. I thought eventually I would find it out in the yard or something. I found it all right. About three days later when one of the dogs vomited it up right in the middle of my recliner.

I remained calm though, cleaned it up, and bought Ella a new collar. But now she has no identifying tags, so I'm going to have to order & pay for more of those.

I come home this week to find Louis without his damn collar. I haven't been gifted with vomited remains of that one yet, but I'm sure that's coming sometime this weekend.

I'm not sure what I am going to do. I've already yelled so much, I'm hoarse and have a massive headache.