Sunday, May 10, 2009
Of Bullies and Best Friends
That wasn't the case with Ed Berry though. We were in 5th grade -- I was 10, he was 13. Yes, he as 13 and in 5th grade. And in me, Ed saw a quiet kid who would give up his seat in the lunchroom rather than risk getting beaten up.
This went on for a couple of weeks until I felt the need to do something. But what? I brought it up at a family gathering and asked for everyone's opinion (always the nerd). I don't recall most of the discussion, but I know my dear grandmother had a simple solution. "Pick up a rock," she said. She literally wanted me to carry around a big ol' rock & bash Ed in the head with it the next time he asked for my seat.
Although we continue to laugh at my grandmother's advice to this day, I did not in fact take it. That was a bit too violent for my tastes. I ended up just saying no. I made the decision that no matter what happened, I would not give up my seat the next time Ed came around. Sure enough, it worked. He told me to give him my seat, I said no, and he looked stunned. He did attemp to grab my arm and pull me out, but I completely relaxed my body and slumped in the chair at my full dead weight. He quickly gave up & I don't believe we had another interaction of any kind the rest of our lives.
But something really interesting and special did happen. Ed's sister, Barbara Berry, started talking to me. She was also very shy & although I knew her, I had never really spoken to her before. But she hated Ed as much as I did, so we bonded.
We laughed. That was pretty much the basis of our friendship (and there are a lot worse things to base a friendship on, beleive me). We loved to laugh. We laughed at the stupid stories we read in class, we laughed at funny things our teacher said, we laughed when someone fell down on the playground, we just laughed. Many times it got so bad, we couldn't look at each other during class or we would crack up and get in trouble.
We laughed and we played tricks on each other. Barbara loved to catch me first thing in the morning and mess up my hair because then she knew I'd have to go through the entire day with wild, crazy hair. (I've always had big, bushy hair that is hard to control if it isn't kept short.) We stole each other's pencils, tied each other's shoe laces together, drew faces on each other's homework.
The only thing about Barbara, though, it was basically impossible to get past the joking exterior. I wouldn't have known at the time what to call it, but now I'd say she was guarded. She didn't really express her feelings. She didn't want to be vulnerable in any way. That was always a huge challenge for me because I wanted to know she really liked me, that she was really glad we were friends. I certainly was.
She once invited me to ride the bus to her house after school & I jumped at the chance. Maybe this was her way to saying the friendship was important to her. She didn't live in a house though. She lived in the projects -- some really run-down apartments on Ida Street, just a few blocks from our school. Although this was in the middle of the afternoon when I imagined all the adults to be at work, there were people everywhere. Men and older boys standing around oustide and in the hallways, smoking, cursing, yelling. It was so loud. I will not lie -- I got scared. I told Barbara I needed to call my mom to come pick me up. I know I really hurt Barbara's feelings & I still sometimes think about that.
We remained friends, but I could never get her to open up in the way I wanted. And at this point, I don't even know what I was wanting from her. I was just a sensitive, sappy little boy who felt something was missing. I remember thinking the yearbook would be the perfect opportunity for her to share *something*, but she didn't. I think she wrote: "Keep laughing, Jason!" I, of course, wrote some overly verbose paragraph about how bad things (being bullied) can actually turn out good (meeting Barbara). She never even mentioned what I wrote either.
Finally, on the last day of 5th grade, I got something. As we were walking away from each other toward our separate buses, she turned & said, "I'm going to miss you, Jason." Although I tried hard not to, I cried on the way home that day. I understood and Barbara understood something that others, especially the adults, did not. We weren't just saying goodbye for the summer, but forever.
Sixth grade was a whole new world with hundreds of more kids & she'd be hanging out with the black kids & I'd be hanging out with the white kids. And we'd probably even pretend like we hardly knew each other.
And sure enough, that's what happened.
'09 Garden
Thanks to some early rain this spring, things are looking pretty good. Especially the tomatoes.
I have seven tomato plants, six in whiskey barrels & one in a Topsy-Turvy hanging planter. I thought I would experiment with that as I wasn't sure how much damage the dogs might do to my garden. So far, they've done no damage, but I'm glad to be testing the TT anyway. If it works, I might do a whole bunch of them next year.
It was 90+ degrees when these photos were taken, so the wilt is just from mid-day sun. In general, the plants are doing very well.
Tomatoes
Squash
Lemon basil
Peppers
Eggplant
Ella
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Maybe the Good Ol' Days Weren't So Good
So, with much excitement, I decide to build a clothesline in my back yard and dry my clothes out in the fresh air. It was kind of an homage to my grandmother, plus I could just imagine the fresh air smell that would envelop my laundry. I was so pleased that I even took a picture of my towels hanging on the line.
They dried in a snap and as I took them off the line I noticed they kept the exact same shape as they had when hanging. They were a bit stiff, but I figured after they sat in my linen closet for a day or two, they would relax.
Well, I used one this morning & I thought I was going to have to call in sick to work (or just drive straight the ER) as it felt as if my skin was being ripped off the flesh. Holy hell in the morning!!
So much for my "natural living" experiment. Damn ...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
This Post is About Weight? No, I Don't Believe It!
Just to show I am still moving (albeit at a snail's pace) on my weight/health/food issues, I finally decided to invest in my own set of scales. Some of you may know, but good scales that will weigh someone of my size are not cheap, so I'm making an investment in my health.
They arrived this week & look pretty cool. They report weight, body fat, water retention & all these other things. I'm not ready to step on them quite yet, but soon. Within the next couple of weeks, I plan to resume weekly weigh-ins & will report the results here.
I Ain't Mad At Cha
I came home from work Tuesday to find Louis alone in the back. No Ella in sight. Luckily, I got a call after just a few minutes reporting that Ella was three streets over playing with some neighborhood kids. I lugged her back home.
After careful consideration, I decided to continue leaving them in the backyard. I thought Ella's escape was a fluke. The meter reader or someone must have let Ella out because I saw no way that the dogs could escape on their own & if there was a way, Louis would have gone too. Mistake ...
On Thursday I came home at lunch to check on them & both dogs were gone. I ended up having to take a half-day vacation because I spent more than four hours looking for them. Finally, another kind neighbor called to let me know she found them. This was after 4 pm & the dogs had first been spotted out by another neighbor at 10 am. So they had a nice 6-hour day roaming the streets.
Remember the definition of insanity -- doing the same thing over & over, but expecting different results? Well, I am insane. I left them in the yard again on Friday. BECAUSE I had found where they were getting out (this time, digging under) and filled it with cinder blocks. Again, I thought human ingenuity would come out on top, but ...
Within 45 minutes of getting to work Friday, yep, I got another call. "Your cute little dogs are over in my yard. Do you want to come get them?" "No," I said, "just keep 'em. Do whatever you want with 'em. I'm done."
Ok, well, it didn't go exactly like that. I said, "Yes, thank you so much for calling. I'll be over in 5 minutes."
And now, the dogs are confined to crates when I leave the house. Sad, but true. I have no other option. The huge, fenced-in backyard goes to waste all day long as they sit inside a small crate staring out the sides. I guess that's just life sometimes.
And although it has been a looooong, stressful, frustrating week, when you walk in the room and see what I saw last night, you cannot be angry at them or hold a grudge.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
White Trash City
Here's pictorial proof of how I live these days (inside & out) ...
You really should click on the pictures to get the full impact of the hideousness. In this case, we have chicken wire stretched between two garden posts, fortified at the bottom by cinder blocks, supported at the top by plywood, covered by a tarp, and with every scrap of shit from my yard thrown in the front of it. And the little furry punks still get through.
And just in case you can't idenitify everything here, the top picture has a ripped up book (a new book I just got for Christmas), a Hole CD that has actual teeth marks in it now, aqua beads from a coaster, paper & various trash, and even a small piece of red envelop that was meant to be an RSVP (Sorry, D!).
The bottom picture includes packing peanuts, part of a leather CD case, stuffing from a desecrated toy, parts of another ripped up book (Edward Gorey, one of my faves), and various other stuff.
Pushed to the Brink
They are buck-ass wild & cannot be tamed.
When I leave them out, Louis escapes the fence by jumping over.
When I leave them in, both dogs destroy anything they can get their teeth on.
In the past week, I've lost three books, a leather CD case, about half a dozen CDs, notebooks, notepads, a beaded coaster, a dog bowl (shattered), and a cereal bowl (cracked in half).
I came home one day to find Louis walking around on top of my kitchen counter. Like a cat or something. Except he is a 32-lb dog. Just strolling along the counter looking for whatever he might to want to eat or to knock off.
I've been called by neighbors twice telling me to please come pick up my dog at their house.
I spent all last weekend building up the most ridiculous white trash-looking piece of crap fence slash barrier trying to keep Louis from the part of the yard where he can jump. Hasn't worked. They just got through this morning and were over there just waiting for the perfect time to jump over. Luckily, I caught them.
I came home two weeks ago to find Ella without her collar. I thought eventually I would find it out in the yard or something. I found it all right. About three days later when one of the dogs vomited it up right in the middle of my recliner.
I remained calm though, cleaned it up, and bought Ella a new collar. But now she has no identifying tags, so I'm going to have to order & pay for more of those.
I come home this week to find Louis without his damn collar. I haven't been gifted with vomited remains of that one yet, but I'm sure that's coming sometime this weekend.
I'm not sure what I am going to do. I've already yelled so much, I'm hoarse and have a massive headache.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Louis & Ella: Together Again
As you'll see, so far they get along famously. There has not been one solitary growl. Not even a half-growl (although there was a little scatting - ha!). Even when drinking water together from the same bowl. Awwwww ...
And they've already claimed their relaxation spots in the backyard. Ella curls up in a chair & Louis lays on top of the table under my patio.
Indulge me ... and of course click on the little pictures to see BIG pictures.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Resolution Revolution
Friday, January 2, 2009
What's Around the Bend?
Happy New Year to all my peeps!
I'm trying to slowly work my way back into blogging after basically quitting for the last part of 2008. I want to get back to it & haven't forgotten any of my ongoing initiatives -- weight loss progress, top albums, etc. I'll pick them all up eventually.
I can't believe another year is upon us. As far as weight, health, diet, I go into this new year without a specific plan. I'm fine with that. I've had specific plans out the wazoo in years past & it hasn't done much good.
Generally, my plan is to get some sort of consistent exercise on a weekly basis and try to eat a low-fat diet. I'm about to start reading this book, which I hope will provide some inspiration, although it certainly goes above & beyond anything I'm attempting to do at this time.
Who knows what will happen in '09, but there's no reason to think it won't be good!